On Strike!

"I thought I'd go to the game on Saturday morning." My favorite team was coming to town, and I had been looking forward to it all week.

"If you think I'm going to sit around here on Saturday while you're off at a game, you've got another think coming!" I retreated into our bedroom and threw my suit jacket down on the bed. "Pick that up," the wife said as she followed me into the room. "And don't put on those bum clothes that you wear around the house. You might run into someone we know at the supermarket." I tried to ignore her as I changed, but she was relentless. "Did you ask for a raise today?"

"No." Things were tough at the company, a reality which I had kept from my family, not wanting to worry them.

"What a wimp," she sighed. I tried to escape into the bathroom, but she was all over me. "Don't make a mess in there like usual. The housekeeper complained so much about you today, I had to give her a raise. And don't forget to put the seat down. Men!"

At the sound of that word, I finally snapped. The twisted idea that had come into my head during my commute suddenly didn't sound so crazy. Maybe our lives would never be the same, but anything would be better than the life I was living. I had some comp time coming from the office, and tomorrow the wife and daughter would be out most of the day. When they got home, we'd see how they got by without a man around the house.

I surveyed my sad reflection in the mirror above the vanity. My hair was thinning and prematurely gray, but when I put on my woman's wig, I looked years younger. When I dressed on the sly, I relied on female impersonators' tricks to cover up my body hair, but now I finally had an excuse to shave my legs. My weight was up a few pounds, but a one-night fast would give me a girlish figure that the wife could only dream about.

Emboldened by my plan, I tore off my clothes and walked out of the bathroom naked. The wife watched with an evil eye as I put on my pajamas and pulled back the covers. "What are you doing? What about our dinner?"