The Giver and the Gifts

The final lines of my second sonnet echoed in my mind:

. . . when she's transsexual, And the dainty ornaments of penis And testicles, completing her, make full The bounty of her beauty and the bliss She has in store for those men who want more Than either sex, by itself, can explore.

I stifled a snort of self-derision. What a fool I was to think that my having both a pair of womanly breasts and a set of male genitals would captivate a man as handsome and virile as Brad! It was apparent, in his steady, forward gaze, the set of his jaw, and his stiff posture, that I'd horrified, rather than captivated, him. He was obviously bent upon finding the first place available along this mountain road to turn around, take me home, and be rid of me forever. Once again, sister Susie had been right. I just hoped she'd be wrong about the violent reaction that some men might have toward transsexual women or that, at least, Brad wouldn't prove to be one of them. I didn't relish a black eye, a broken nose, or a split lip. Facial scars don't go all that well with makeup and an Oscar de la Renta evening gown.

As Brad continued to drive up the winding mountain road, under the full moon above the drifting shreds of cloud, I continued to bemoan the curse of my transsexual nature. I wasn't gay, as many men thought. I like men, sexually and otherwise, because I'm a woman. A woman trapped inside a man's body, perhaps, but a woman, nevertheless--or, in my case, not quite a woman--but not quite a man, either. If anything, I'm both--and, yet, neither--a hermaphrodite, more than anything. That's why, after undergoing feminization procedures, including the daily use of female hormones, electrolysis, the surgical reduction of my Adam's apple, finishing school, and breast implant surgery, I've opted to retain my cock and balls. They're not all that big--my cock, erect, is only five and a half inches, and my balls are half the size they used to be. My dick is cute, though, and, although my male genitals are perfectly functional and able to shoot a load of semen swimming with sperm, they're more like ornaments than sex organs--at least, to me.